THE END

The past four months have been a blur. So let's back track a little...

JULY

The first week of July, I went to Geneva for the Hastings Center-Brocher Summer Academy for a week of presentations and intense discussions about enhancement with regard to legal, medical and ethical implications. It was a very thought-provoking experience, and I met so many amazing people from all over the world. It was about 50 people in total, including a couple of individuals who I cited loads in my thesis, so meeting them was a great chance to drool over the work they're doing and actually speak to them about my own take on their subject. While I was in Switzerland/France (technically my hotel was just over the border), we got to go into the city center where I could see Anna for dinner one night. After a little game of Marco Polo we finally found each other and had some delicious food at a less touristy restaurant and then stopped for a glass of wine on the waterfront before parting ways.

Before heading back to Scotland, I took a train from my connecting flight in London to Reading to visit Emily and her family in Reading for a few days while finishing up the final draft of my thesis. Such a good time, and her parents are transplants from Boston, so it felt like the perfect mix of living in a beautiful Georgian-style English home with the comforts of my own home. Most days I spent at their dining room table typing away while looking out the windows at the canal behind their house and the little ducks that walk around there. We also took a day trip out to Bath and an evening out in London for dinner and a West End show with their family friends visiting from Boston (who we also had over for an American barbeque one night). This all made me both really excited to go home, reminding me of the things I missed, but also really sad to be leaving because these kinds of places and experiences would soon be out of reach.

In any case, I finally popped on a train back to St Andrews, spent a couple days running around town getting my thesis printed and submitted, and then had a few days left over to pack and spend time with friends, not to mention fly a plane with Steven, and visit a couple friends out in Glasgow for a weekend. I felt bad that I'd be missing out on the remainder of the summer with these friends of mine who would all still be together for an extra month without me, but they all threw me a great going away party. And before I knew it, I was back home for barenly enough time rushing around trying to get everything unpacked, repacked, and ready to move to New York.

AUGUST-OCTOBER

Move-in was July 31, orientation started August 1, and classes started August 5. Before I knew it, my life got wildly busy, more so than ever before. And I also could not resist but to not only sign up for countless clubs and other extracurriculars, but also take on multiple leadership positions within these organizations. Arguably crazy, but it's seeming to work out so far. Despite being so busy, when people ask me what I've been up to, I could probably answer in a couple sentences: "I go to class/lab from about 9-5 every day, then go to meetings/study all night until I go to bed, wake up and do it again. I probably go out once a week for my sanity." People follow this answer with, "Cool...? And what else is going on in life?" Honestly, that's about it. Is there really time for more? No. Not when I have an exam every two weeks, which requires more studying than one final would in undergrad. I have gone home about once a month. Driving from New York to Boston while all the leaves change is probably one of the most beautiful things. I went apple picking one weekend. I've gone out in NYC a couple times. But these things all seem slightly less thrilling than my former life as a traveler.

Two weeks ago, I had my oral viva (thesis defense) over Skype. It went well, even though I didn't even have time to reread my thesis (which I hadn't touched since I finished it in July) because I also had an anatomy exam that I was revising for the following Monday. Only two very minor corrections, and last week I received the official email that I have my MPhil. But as with everything else at St Andrews, the process can't be that easy...Now I have to get a few copies printed (one to be dropped off at the registry, one for my supervisor, and one for me), an electronic version submitted on CD, and something for the library online when all that is done (??). In any case, this would be slightly (thought not much) easier if I were actually there in person to do all this. But it is slowly working itself out. Granted the deadline to have this all done for the November graduation is on Tuesday--not happening. But that's fine, because I wanted to graduate in June anyway.............

35,906...

...my word count for a complete draft of my thesis. That's 116 pages (not including my 2 page abstract and 15 page appendix). I still need to edit the conclusion and finish editing the introduction, but that's all going to wait until I get back from Geneva in a week. Phew. I think just finishing this draft was more satisfying than finishing my entire undergraduate degree.

And as the nostalgia sets in...

Part of me is indescribably excited to get home and start med school, another part of me is clinging to my life here. It still feels like an alternate reality, and even though I'm looking forward to getting out of St Andrews awhile, I'm not ready to leave this life behind. Then again, I suppose I'll never be 'ready' to leave this, and it won't be a done deal; I can come back and visit and stay in touch with people. And besides, even if I didn't leave, it would never really be the same anyway since other people leave too, of course.

The past few days have been crazy (and not quite as productive as I needed them to be...). The Emory Alumni event was at a nearby castle, which was pretty cool. The following night was Grad Ball, which was AMAZING--so much fun! It was so great to see so many people right before everyone leaves, and it was just such a great night. Then another party last night...needless to say it's been great, but I need to get back to work! But I do need these fun times to keep my sanity, so worth it...as long as my work gets done, it's fine...

In any case, the next 4 weeks are going to be INSANE. This week I will be finishing up the complete draft of my thesis (whoa). Sunday, I leave for Switzerland for the week. I'll come back to St Andrews for the following weekend, but then I will head down to England to see some friends for a few days (haven't decided how long yet?), as well as make any last revisions to my thesis (no point in sticking around St Andrews to do that seeing as I'll have everything I need and my supervisor will be out of the country anyway). I'll come back up to Scotland to submit my thesis and enjoy one last week in St Andrews (and by enjoy I mean pack up my room and spend the last of my savings), and may or may not squeeze in a very short trip somewhere in Scotland (TBD). And then I come home.

It's slightly confusing when it's still light out at 11pm

Today I went to a lecture by Sir David Attenborough. It was fantastic.

I also had my second to last meeting with my supervisor. Basically, I need to fix most of my abstract and introduction, which includes doing another full day of research...so much for taking the weekend off. It's fine. I'll do whatever it takes to a get a full draft done by the end of next week (cantbelieveimsoclosetobeingdone!!).

And this morning I wrote page 100 of my thesis...which I guess is exciting?

I'm getting really excited to come home in just less than 5 weeks, but I'm also getting seriously nostalgic at the thought of leaving here...

Free staff fitness classes

One of the benefits of being part of the university staff is over the summer they offer 6 weeks of free fitness classes. So not only do I get one free zumba class and one free yoga class each week until I leave, but it's probably good that I have to walk a mile each way to get to the fitness centre. Time to work off all those tesco cookies...

Overall, thesis work is coming along. Just the chapter based on interviews (yet to be conducted) with psychiatrists and the conclusion and I'll be done. I'm trying to crack through the little tedious things like formatting the reference list and writing up a table of contents etc at the moment. I'm so ready to be done with it, but at the same time feel like it would be nice to have more than the 4 weeks left that I've set for myself to submit it. Ah well.

In other news, I went for afternoon tea at the Old Course Hotel last weekend. Perhaps a bit overpriced, but it was definitely a good experience, and we had plenty of teacakes to take home afterward. I went with a few friends who will be graduating in a couple weeks. Basically, it's the posh hotel right at the edge of the famous golf course here, and the dining room is up on the fourth floor with huge windows that look out over West Sands beach, the Old Course, and the town to the side. Very nice.

Also, I was convinced to splurge a little and bought a ticket to go to the Grad Ball next week, which should be a lot of fun. But I'll be sad when most of my remaining undergrad friends that are still in town will be leaving after that. Not that I'll be here much longer either...and I'll certainly be working hard tying up all the loose ends left on my thesis by then anyway.

Otherwise, not too much else to report over the past couple weeks. Mostly just grabbing the odd coffee or lunch with people who are still around town. More of the same really.

Where has the time gone?

What a surreal week. Crazy how work is in seriously high gear as so many people are leaving and/or are on summer holiday lazying around. Where's my vacation? I say that, but I am really hyped up about my work right now. It's just hard to plan out everything else in my life while trying to get through it all in good time.

Today I gave a 45 minute presentation to a room full of about 15 mental health specialists (intimidating much?). It went pretty well, all things considered. And it looks like I will, in fact, have the interview sample that I need for my last chapter. Now to schedule said interviews over the next month (and come up with good questions)...

I did finally buy my plane tickets home now. July 25. So much to do over the next 2 months! It's definitely going to be tight. By the end of this week I'll have a full draft done of all my chapters (1-5) excluding the professional perspectives chapter (6) that I will write based on interviews. Then next week I hope to write up my introduction, and the following week revise my chapters after getting comments back from my supervisor. I've got a one week workshop for biology research students in the last full week of June. Then I will speed through writing up Chapter 6 before I leave for a week in Geneva on July 3. When I get back July 8, I'll revise Chapter 6 and write up my conclusion. And that will be me done sometime in mid-July. Ridiculous.

Oh and sidenote--I'm going to Geneva! I got accepted into this one week workshop that is going to be AMAZING. Only 40 people attend, and its basically experts in the field from all over the world. So excited!!

Hello antibiotics

The past week has been a bit of a fog as I've been fighting through a sinus infection (fun times!). But I finally went to the doctor this morning, so with the help of some antibiotics my head should finally uncloud in a few days.

Now that it's exam period here, despite my lack of exams, I've hit a new routine for thesis writing. Nearly every day now I get up for a leisurely breakfast and general life organization in the morning, and then find myself at various coffee establishments in town by early afternoon, where I write until the battery starts to die on my laptop (so about 3-4 hours), at which point I come home and eat a light lunch. I spend the next few hours generally wasting time, but also doing any other work that I have other than writing. I've been having late dinner and then spend the rest of my evening being a bum and/or squeezing out a couple final hours of work before watching a few episodes of Grey's Anatomy with Jo after she finishes studying for the day.

I'd like to think that once my sinuses clear up, I'll be able to do a bit more writing than that, but overall things are going well. I'm a bit more than halfway through Chapter 4. Next week will be Chapter 5. And then I have to cross my fingers that some psychiatrists will be willing to interview with me in June so that I have something to write for Chapter 6...

Some place sunny

Barcelona last week was AMAZING. I didn't do much sightseeing, having been there before, just a lot of wandering around the city. It was so nice to just have time to myself, meandering through the streets, soaking up some sun, and eating all food in sight. And of course it was fantastic to see Carli and Ankita. Thursday morning was spent drifting through the gothic quarter, the afternoon strolling down Las Ramblas and along the waterfront. Thursday night we went out to dinner and clubbing...I'm not much of the clubbing type, but every once in awhile, it's definitely I nice change of pace. Also excellent that the clubs in Barcelona are open until after 6am. Fun times. The better part of Friday was spent chilling out in Park Guell and listening to the various musicians playing around in the park; my personal favorite was the one Ankita and I call 'the can man' as he made his instrument out of old cans, violin parts, and an old desk lamp as a stand. Getting up at 4am Saturday morning to get myself to the airport for my 8am flight was an experience in itself, the worst part was really just arriving home in Scotland to find the water heater in the house was broken so have only just had my first hot shower a couple hours ago since Friday. Cold showers wouldn't really be that bad if my sinuses hadn't decided to be all stuffy and make me feel like crap since I've been home. Ah well.

Now, after falling a little behind on my work before I left last week, I am finally ALMOST caught up to where I want to be. Thesis-wise I'm pretty much on track. But I also desparately need to start putting together my presentation for the psychiatric/clinician group I'm presenting for in a couple weeks. And then there are the essays I still need to mark by Friday...my students had to write about a marine organism and three of its adaptations. The first 5 essays on whales were really interesting, but not gonna lie, reading about blubber, blowholes, and echolocation 20 times over is starting to get a little old.

Most epic weekend EVER

For starters, 4 day weekends are always a good idea. I had my last lab practicals last week, which is good because I could definitely use the extra time to work on my thesis now, but I will definitely miss teaching. My Thursday group got me a card, everyone signed it, and it made me very happy. Will definitely miss my weekly dose of banter with that group. Thursday night was the BBC3 vs. the Royal Wedding party at the JFK house. Basically, BBC3 is the trashy TV station here, think shows like 'Snog, Marry, or Avoid' and 'Underage and Pregnant'...The fancy dress was amazing, so much spray-on tan and heavy eye make-up everywhere (see picture of James and Sara below).

Friday was surreal and probably the most 'St Andrews'-themed day I've ever had. James, Fred, and I met up early to go to the Royal Wedding Breakfast on St Salvatore's quad. What a British experience. There were TV cameras everywhere. It was weird to be the alternate media destination after London for the wedding broadcast. Granted, for all the media, St Andrews only appeared on TV for a matter of minutes--seems like a silly amount of effort put in on the media's part. But it was really amazing to be celebrating the wedding in the place where Wills and Kate met. I think that made it more real in some way, or something? It's both sweet and slightly ridiculous to see Wills and Kate paraphernalia all around town, like the picture of the royal couple made entirely out of jellybeans in the window to the sweets shop (will try to get a photo of that to post later).

Bagpipe procession to start the breakfast festivities in St Andrews.

We found Anna at the breakfast as well. Notice on the screen behind Anna and James that the BBC is showing a segment in St Andrews which is occurring just a few feet away from us.

After the wedding, we got some lunch and ate it in St Mary's quad across town, where we were met by some crazy seagulls. Then we decided to go up to the top of St Rule's Tower next to the Cathedral for an amazing view of the town and the sea (see picture below), despite the fact that I was wearing heels. It actually wasn't as bad a climb as I was expecting. This was followed by a trip to the castle, obviously. I ended my day with a few cocktails at the West Port, which seemed appropriate enough.

James and me at the top of St Rule's Tower.

On Saturday I attempted to get some work done in the morning. I had a pleasant pub lunch with Matt and James, followed by coffee with Katie. I love catching up with Katie, who is in the last year of her PhD here. She's one of the few people that truly understands the bipolarity caused by thesis writing. Later in the evening, Sarah and I went to the castle, where students were led by a bagpipe in a procession down to the pier with torches at sunset. It was one of those 'You know you're in St Andrews when...' moments. Standard. After making some dinner, I made my way to a friend's apartment next to the beach where the May Dip would take place. After drinking a few glasses of Pimms and lemonade, I went back to my house to join some other friends for late night snacks and a few more drinks. And at 4am, we made our way back down to the beach, where there were a number of bonfires going, fire twirlers, and a rave as thousands of students prepared to run into the North Sea at sunrise. It wasn't long before it was light out, and people started running into the water long before the sun came up. An incredible spectacle (see pictures below, also note that despite the fact that everyone is wearing bathing suits, it was definitely not warm outside). Another one of St Andrews' notable traditions, the May Dip is when students go into the North Sea at sunrise on the first of May. Originally, the May Dip was to commemorate John Honey, who was a 19 year old student in 1800 who is said to have rescued 5 men from a sinking ship off the shore of East Sands, and also to supposedly make you beautiful, but if I remember correctly, now it is also said to reverse the curse if you step on the cursed 'PH' stones in front of the quad (which will make you fail your exams if you don't do the May Dip as a remedy), and maybe balance academic incest(?...too many traditions, I can't keep them all straight).

Got back home by about 6am on Sunday morning, and spent the better part of the morning sleeping. Of course the weather was beautiful when I really needed to be doing work. But I did manage to take an afternoon break to grab a smoothie and sit on the Cathedral lawn to enjoy a little bit of sun. So I've tried to get through some Chapter 2 revisions between yesterday and today; it's coming along slowly. I may not get it completely squared away by the time I leave on Wednesday, but I feel like it's going alright.

In other news, I'll be moving to New York at the end of July. Haven't figured out exactly when I'll be leaving here, but I should be around Boston for a few days in the last week of July, in any case.

This waiting game needs to end

Playing the waiting game is not nearly as fun as it sounds...oh wait, it doesn't sound fun in the first place...20 more days. At least 4 of those days will be jam packed with fun. I can do this. I can do this. After May 15, I can book my tickets home, figure out where I'll be come August and beyond.

In the meantime, I'll just keep trucking through thesis revisions. Chapter 3 is looking pretty good right now, or at least much better than it did 4 days ago. And because I know you all want to know, my word count is up to 13,221 (that's 1/3 done!!). Next up is reworking Chapter 2, which should be done just in time for my trip to Barcelona next week(!!!!). This weekend should be fun, as well. Kicking off Thursday night with a 'BBC3 vs. the Royal Wedding' party, a national holiday on Friday for the Royal Wedding, May Dip Sunday morning. Which brings us to me leaving for Barcelona on Wednesday, getting back Saturday in time for the May Ball on Sunday. Almost too much excitement over the next two weeks, I can hardly contain myself.

I love springtime and all these crazy times that come with it, but then I start getting all nostalgic about how quickly the year went by, and how I'm leaving soon... I must admit, I'm getting a bit too claustrophobic here, so am feeling nearly ready to go. But at the same time, I don't want to go because I know I won't be coming back this time...(excluding the possibility that I'll be back for a few short days in November for graduation).

Today's moment of happiness: running into James on my way to the office this morning. Was so lucky because it wasn't my normal time to go in, and James never walks my way but was taking the long way to the library to enjoy the weather. So we got to have a nice stroll together and some cheeky chat. Loves it.

Tesco cookies are dangerous

...And by dangerous I mean addictively delicious. I find myself craving them, and with no self control, will make the walk to Tesco at any hour (so long as Tesco is open of course...). It was all downhill when they moved their location in Tesco to be on the shelf right next to the juice and fresh soup, so that there's really no avoiding them, ever. And once you've tried them that first time, there's just no going back.

Editing and revision are going alright so far. I've procrastinated writing anything by creating a fairly detailed outline of all the revisions I need to make, noting the exact location in my writing that needs fixing, the general subject of revision, the source that I will reference, the page and location within the reference...should make revising pretty simple, right? Now I need to just sit down and write in those revisions... But on the plus side I think I've worked out that I can actually submit my thesis a few weeks later than I thought (which also means I need to rework my deadline schedule that I've made for myself...).

Today and tomorrow are the oral vivas for the first year biology labs, so I get to give my students a 10-minute oral exam on their lab work so far this semester. Not gonna lie, I actually really enjoyed it, so much easier than teaching a lab, though I know the students would prefer to do a lab than do the viva of course. I have noticed, however, that this semester the students aren't doing nearly as well as last semester. I had been worried that maybe it was me, that I'm terrible at helping them this semester, since it's all plant and animal biology (which I know very little about, versus cell biology, which I actually understand...), but all the other lab demonstrators are finding the same thing, so I know it's not just me. I guess this semester is just harder?

And now...back to work...must resist the Tesco Belgian Triple Chocolate Cookies sitting on the side of my desk...we'll see how long this lasts...

With Beautiful Weather Comes Allergies to Match

As the trees and flowers are finally in bloom, making the town even more gorgeous, of course I want to get outside and take advantage of the good weather. Then I wake up Wednesday morning feeling like a truck has just driven over my face, and then dumped a pile of bricks on me. Wonderful. In any case, got myself some allergy meds, and by Friday was feeling much better (though still not 100% even now, but I can function so I'm not too bothered by the stuffy sinuses...).

Yesterday was the Kate Kennedy Procession. Basically the 'KK' is a gentlemen's club here in St Andrews (think: a sort of British elitist club not too unlike a fraternity, which is founded on being a charity organization, but is widely known for excluding anyone that isn't a trust fund baby and more...). Anyways, the KK guys put on a number of traditional balls here throughout the year--the Opening Ball, Christmas Ball, and May Ball--which are great events, though largely overpriced in the name of charity...(That being said, I'm going to the May Ball in three weeks and I'm really excited!) So the Procession was yesterday, and they have a bunch of people dressed up in old period clothing and march around the town center (and past my house) with a pipe band (think lots of bagpipes and drums), horses, a couple carriages, the whole lot...this was the first time I saw it, and not gonna lie, it was pretty cool. And I was surprised by the number of people I knew who were in the procession. It was a beautiful day for it, too, so Anna and I got some ice cream from Jannetta's and sat in front of the Cathedral to watch. Towards the end, we were both given a small bouquet of daffodils by some KK guys, so I now have some flowers to decorate my back hallway, nice touch. (Since my camera batteries died, I will have to steal pictures from Anna later to post here...)

After the Procession, I went to the office for a few hours in the afternoon/evening. I actually really like being the only one in the office, much more productive that way. It is sort of weird to be in there on weekends, but I actually enjoy it. I had met with my supervisor on Wednesday, and among a million other things I have to do, I will be going back to revise and gather more research for my second two chapters before continuing to draft the rest of my thesis. Sensible, but frustrating because I will most definitely fall behind on my timetable now...

"Well, at least I've backed up my work"

You know thesis has taken over my life when it even starts coming up in my dreams. Last night, I had an interesting dream. I decided to go traveling for awhile, so I met up with my cousin Beth at a hostel in Geneva because she wanted to take a break from her job in Belize. After a couple days of wandering around with her and her friend that had come along, we had to rush to get to Zurich, the next stop on our trip. I don't remember why we were in such a rush, because we were driving to get there, so we didn't have to catch a train or bus or plane or anything... The more interesting bit was we were driving a flying car (think Harry Potter, except it was a convertible). Anyways, we had to rush out to the car and I was in the backseat, sitting next to my sister (who magically appeared on this trip as if she'd always been there, as happens in dreams), and in my frantic packing to get out the door hadn't had time to put my laptop in my bag, so it's sitting on my lap. But as we pick up speed and altitude, it's slipping around, and not wanting anything to happen to it, I scramble to put it into my backpack at my feet, but we're going so fast that it actually slips out of my hands. Somehow, my sister just manages to catch the edge of it as it had opened up as it fell, so I ask her to hold onto it as I tried to grab it/close it. In the process of doing so, however, she accidentally dropped it, and we watched as my laptop fell what was now at least 100 yards to the ground, shattering into a thousand pieces. And all I could think as I saw it go was, "well at least I've backed up my work, so I can just pick up where I left off on my thesis" (the fact that I no longer had a computer was completely inconsequential of course). And I woke up thinking, I'm so glad I have each of my chapters saved in emails and on my flashdrive.

Thesising

This weekend I have hit a great routine: waking up around 9:30, writing for a couple hours, one-hour lunch break on the beach, writing a couple more hours, 4ish-mile run, writing another hour, dinner, attempting to write another short bit, dessert, and ending with treating myself by watching BostonMed reruns online. Quite the life. My word count is up to about 10,000, so I'm 25% done...only slightly an issue that I'm nearly done with half my chapters yet I'm nowhere near 50% of the word count. Hmm.... No matter, must keep going. All this sunlight and exercise is making me rather optimistic. We'll see how long this lasts.

I'm also happy because Tesco value ice cream is on offer at the moment--two big cartons for only 3 pounds! I also heard a rumor that Ben & Jerry's is on offer at Morrison's for only 2 pounds, may just have to make the 20-minute walk out there to get some, surely walking so far would earn me some quality ice cream...

Mandatory Daily Beach Break

Beautiful days such as today make it impossible to do work. My day has progressed as such:

+Alarm went off at 9am, at which point I decided that I'm 'still on spring break' (right??) and I simply turned it off and let myself sleep another half hour.

+Made a tasty breakfast and meandered over to the office.

+Handed in my lab work hours for the past month, printed a couple things, leaving the office by 11:15.

+Went on a 4-mile run in the sun.

+Had my Friday lunch with James, even got a table outside at OUD to enjoy more sun.

+Went to the beach with Sarah to soak up some more sun for an hour.

+Stopped by Tesco for the 'Buy 1, Get 2 Free' offer on Cadbury creme egg mug, mini eggs, and big chocolate egg (what a deal!?).

+Tried to do a little writing when I got home...ended up cleaning my room instead?

+Now I must go cook dinner, am having one of the most interesting people I know in St Andrews over to enjoy my amazing kitchen skillz. It will help that he's bringing a bottle of wine and chocolate suffle....

I'd be surprised if anyone actually read all that, because let's be honest, who really cares about my schedule in that much detail? But in summary, I spent a lot of time outside, and failed at thesis writing. As for tomorrow: see above schedule.

London to Paris and back again

I might post pictures later, but maybe I'll just put them up on facebook, we'll see how much time I have to procrastinate...

London actually ended up having nice weather while I was there. I got in a fair bit of walking around the city, particularly on Friday when Emily came in for the day and we spent the better part of the day wandering around Camden Markets (who knew they were so big!?) after walking along the South Bank, where we had lunch (and where there were SO MANY BABIES). Friday night, I had dinner in Chinatown, including these dumpling-like chicken cake things--so good!! (I had two!) And I met up with Kate and her old school friends for cocktails, and I had this delicious drink called "Frozen Black Irish" or something like that--it had Bailey's, vodka, kahlua, and ICE CREAM, need I say more... Sunday morning, Kate and I had a scrumptious brunch before I caught the Eurostar to Paris. As my mom pointed out, it's so crazy that there's a train connecting these two cities (not to mention it only takes 2 1/2 hours between them). One of the easiest international travel experiences I've had.

Seeing Charlotte in Paris was fabulous as ever. So good to see her, and crazy that we met nearly three years ago now. Also amazing that this was my third time visiting her since we worked together in Italy three summers ago. Mainly, we sit there and reminisce about all the ridiculous things that happened that summer--the stories are much more hilarious when we were both actually there to experience them firsthand. And when we finally come back to reality, Charlotte gives me all the celebrity gossip (and more) I could ever want; I'm amazed by how much she knows. You could name any celebrity British, American, or otherwise, and she will be able to tell you what they are up to now. I felt very taken care of by my very English friend in Paris :) As Sunday was the first Sunday of the month, it was free museum day, so we went to the Louvre and then out to dinner. The weather was enjoyable over the next couple days, so I did more walking than I would have thought possible. Aside from the assorted walking tours I did around the city, parks I meandered through, and indescribably good food, I also went to a chocolate museum that covered the history of chocolate from the time of the Aztecs and ended in a demonstration of praline-making and free samples, and visited the catacombs--incredible! I also got to meet up with a couple of my French friends, Nico and Thibault, who had studied abroad at Emory last year. They're a good laugh; we had a great night having drinks at a bar that overlooked the Siene and Notre Dame, too perfect.

And now I'm back to the grind...but to give me something to look forward to, I've just booked tickets for Barcelona the first few days of May, as a reward for finishing two more chapters of my thesis. I can't wait to go somewhere sunny and warm, and see Carli and Ankita, and for my sanity I think it's important that I leave town every so often, just for a change of scenery.

In other news, after that meeting at the psych hospital last week, somehow I ended up volunteering myself to be the presenter at the next meeting (what!?!?)...interesting...and only a couple physicians showed up at the last meeting, so I'm going to have to do a little more networking through email than would be ideal, and maybe hope that I can meet some people when I present next (rearranging my schedule a little bit to write my last chapter later and go back and revise earlier chapters first). Also, my supervisor found this amazing 4-day summer seminar series in Geneva that would be PERFECT for me...only down side is there are only 40 spots, it's traditionally geared more for PhDs and postdocs, and is SUPER competitive...hmmm....

(I had some witty title, but have now forgotten...next time...)

It seems I've fallen behind on updating here yet again. This past week was a bit crazy trying to keep up with things, particularly finishing up my second chapter, but with that behind me I can breathe a little bit again (for a few days anyway...).

I finally got through all the lab marking I needed to for awhile. It's frustrating because we're given a certain amount of time they are expecting us to take on each piece of work, but also expect us to give a good amount of feedback to the students, but there simply isn't enough time to do a good job. I ended up working so much overtime marking lab reports, and pretty sure I won't get paid for it...but I'd rather that then not tell students what they did well/need to work more on. And my presentation on Thursday was slightly appalling, only because I was expecting it to be informal, but instead was met with some pretty harsh criticism about how disorganized I was. Had I known that was the expectation, of course I would have put more effort in, but I didn't know, and I don't take the criticism too personally, because the professor who was leading the meeting is overly harsh to everyone, which is frustrating in itself. Sigh. At least I only have to work with him once a month (and I won't have to give another presenation). Luckily, Friday night was unexpectedly lots of fun, which made me feel a lot better. Spent some time with people I haven't seen in a long while, and met a few really cool new people.

This week wasn't all bad though, the weather was fantastic. Have gotten back into running every couple days (way to be healthy!). And I even went to the beach a few times, got my feet in the water, and laid in the sun for awhile (pictures coming soon if I can get them from Sarah's camera). That being said, such nice weather also makes it that much harder to get work done, of course.

Tomorrow I'm going to a meeting at the psychiatric centre a couple towns over, and am hoping to network with a few doctors there so that I can interview them for my last chapter. Fingers crossed it goes well. And once that's done, I leave for London on Wednesday to stay with Kate for a few days, followed by a trip to Paris to see my friend Charlotte for awhile. I'm so excited. London will be good just to get out of St Andrews, though I believe the weather is going to be crap, so will probably spend most of the time indoors, maybe even getting a little work done (I'm such a workaholic, it's kind of embarrassing...). But I promise not to do work in Paris, where the weather is predicted to be really lovely, up in the 70s even! I forget what it's like to have warm weather, how will I cope? So much fun to be had, though, and there are lots of friends in Paris that I can't wait to see, as well. Eeek! So excited!!!

Remembering simpler times

Weekends are quickly becoming work catch up time rather than relaxation time. Lately I feel my To-Do lists are only getting longer no matter how much work I do, which is a bit overwhelming. And I feel like I'm trying to get through a million things at once, causing me to feel even more frazzled. At the moment, I've got endless marking of student lab work, reading for my thesis, writing my thesis, preparing a 20-30 minute presentation for a bunch of PhD/postdoc public health people, putting together prospective abstracts to be submitted for conferences this summer, putting things in order for med school, booking my spring break, a scattering of meetings/seminars/labs for the week...I know this isn't any more than other people have on their plates, but it's piling up fast and while there is an end in sight, the end is just far enough out there that it's definitely going to be quite a stretch. And at the same time, I want to enjoy my time here and not get too bogged down by only work things for the next 4 months. It's all just feeling so rushed all of a sudden, and I don't know how to slow time down.

I am looking forward to the bonfire tomorrow night marking the beginning of spring, and going away for a few days (even if the plan is still up in the air, it WILL happen), and spring and summer and all the fun and loveliness that will come with them... And even though I'm not looking forward to leaving here and moving on with life, I am definitely looking forward to starting medical school. Positive thoughts... :)

Election Day

After meeting with my supervisor just now, I think that was the closest she's been with not being happy with my work, which is to say she wasn't unhappy with it, but since this chapter has less facts and numbers she was a little concerned and thought my writing was more "drafty," except that it really can't be any other way if it's a chapter about philosophy...so for a scientist to read, it's less satisfying, but I thought that it'd been coming along nicely? I suppose I'll have to finish it up for next week and hopefully be more convincing. But there's just SO MUCH to do over the next week. I've set this deadline for chapter 2, which needs quite a bit more background research to finish up, and I've also got to present a paper at a public health meeting next week in the school of medicine (only like 10 people or so, but I have to talk for about 25 minutes and make it sound like I know what I'm talking about, eek!!), and I need to come up with ideas for a poster presentation for a conference that I'm applying for this summer, and I have to mark a million lab things, not to mention I STILL NEED TO BOOK SPRING BREAK. UGH. I know it will all be fine, but it's a tad overwhelming...I feel like I need to crawl into a cave somewhere and not come out until this is all done....

This week, and particularly last night and today, have been crazy campaigning times around town for the university positions. I feel a mix of annoyance and appreciation. On the one hand, I'm tired of all the politics and intensity, but on the other, it's really just showing how much this university means to so many people so it's hard to be too frustrated with them. And going out for St Paddy's Day last night, despite seeing campaigners out in force, was lots of fun, and kind of entertaining to see so many of my students out as well. I think a lot of them appreciated seeing me outside the lab, as well, because *gasp* teaching staff are people too! Though I must admit I'm looking forward to Saturday night when I have nothing to do and can hopefully stay in, perhaps watch a quiet film. You know you're getting old when staying in on a Saturday night sounds like the best idea ever....

One chapter down...

I have made it to my first thesis deadline--chapter one is drafted and looking not too terrible... Finally getting into a writing routine, which is nice. Chapter two *should* be done by spring break in a couple weeks, which seems highly plausible. However, having just met with my supervisor this morning I realized there's a whole lot more to write about in that chapter than I had initially considered...it is, after all, my philosophical perspective chapter (each chapter is taking a different discipline's perspective), so really I could probably go on forever about the ethical considerations there, all about where we see society going, considering what we're capable of, and where to draw the line between authenticity and medication, so thought-provoking (will have to work harder on finding facts to base my philosophizing on though).....

This week I've also been fighting off a pesky cold virus that seems to be taking over the university. I started feeling a little sore throaty on Tuesday morning, but drowned myself in orange juice and decongestants so was feeling much better later in the day and into Wednesday. But last night into this morning I'm not so sure I was able to avoid the illness entirely, so I can only hope it will blow over quickly (too bad my schedule is pretty packed from now until....I retire...?). No, it'll be fine.

I've officially accepted the offer to medical school (and while I plan to attend this school, will keep it slightly up in the air pending the decision of the schools I'm still waiting on, which I realize might be awhile...) So for now, things seem pretty set. And good to know that I passed the criminal background check, officially notified of this today...in case anyone was wondering, I'm have a clear criminal record (at state, national, and international levels)...well done me.

This afternoon, I attended another postgrad seminar about depositing an electronic version of my thesis once it's been approved and all that. Interesting, and good to know, seeing as it's apparently required to submit this electronic version after all is completed. Also slightly worrying, as I had no idea that once I'm done and submitted and reviewed and approved etc etc there is still more I need to do before I'm done for good. Could get interesting as I try to move back for med school in the midst of all that, hmm... In the words of Judy Plott, 'It will all be fine' (which I constantly have repeating in Judy's voice in my head...there are some things about LS that I'll keep forever, this is one of them, makes me slightly reminiscent of high school?).

Other than that, pretty standard week here. Took the first year biology labs out to the botanic gardens for their practical. Despite knowing nothing about plants really, I managed to get my students to answer all the questions on their handouts, and leave a bit early, which I think they appreciated. It was nice to be outside, and luckily the weather was pretty cooperative, except it has been a bit windy this week, and the kind of wind that chills you to the bone even though really it's not terribly cold out. I've probably already said this, but I'm really enjoying my students this semester, for the most part, not more than last semester, but it's definitely a different dynamic with a touch more banter, makes for very entertaining afternoons.

And now, back to a bit of work before my weekly dose of James :)

...Also still needing to sort out spring break...

Tomorrow is Pancake Tuesday

When I was here as an undergrad, it took me the longest time to believe my British friends when they tried to convince me that 'Pancake Tuesday' was a real holiday. Actually, Pancake Tuesday is just the British Fat Tuesday, but everyone eats pancakes (?? alright...). Naturally, when the day came two years ago, we had an English vs. American pancake competition on D Floor...and even more naturally, no verdict was reached as those involved were two Brits and two Americans. Not sure that there will be any such competitions this year, but there will be pancake eating at least.

Things have definitely been busy here recently, but I'm finally starting to strike a good balance between work and play. I had crazy amounts of work kick in last week, but I *think* I'm starting to find a routine that works. And this morning I went to a postgrad seminar thing about networking skills, which was pretty cool. The woman presenting was very chatty and charismatic, and there were only 6 of us in the seminar, so it was fun (and they gave us food!). This weekend I spent lots of time going out with other postgrads, which was a slight change of pace from undergrad socializing I feel, and I really enjoyed it, putting me in a happy place. And while I had planned/hoped that I would be settling down this week, it seems my schedule has taken off yet again...I should not be surprised...but I am? At least I have tonight to catch my breath.

March on

Today is an excellent day.

1) The weather here has been absolutely beautiful lately, and appears it will continue as such for at least a few days.

2) That means I can even wear my sunglasses and sit outside and sip fruit smoothies.

3) Tuesdays seem to be my most productive writing days.

4) I went on a three mile run this morning, incredibly refreshing, and hopefully won't be as painful tomorrow like it was the days following my four mile run last week...

5) I'm finally feeling better after last week's anxiety attack, a.k.a. allergic reaction to life.

6) Homemade macaroni and cheese.

7) My puppy is one year old today! (I miss her and all her craziness, even if she does eat things she's not supposed to...)

8) Google calendar is seriously keeping my life in order.

9) Rockstar leggings.

10) I FINALLY GOT INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL!

Writing state of mind

I can't seem to get into a writing state of mind. Only a minor issue.... I seem to hit these pockets in my day sometimes where I can just sit down and type out two really solid pages of writing in less than hour, which is great, except that this does not happen nearly often enough. I know I have the energy to do this more, it's like this weird productive energy boost that I get, and my mind just gets spinning with all these ideas. The question is how to focus this energy a few times a day rather than once every two or three days. Basically, thinking of my thesis as one really long (really really long) research paper is too overwhelming, so I'm trying to think of it more as six shorter (but still significantly long) mini papers (which are my six chapters). If I can make myself deadlines for each of the chapters, then I think I'll be good, and I wanted to gage that based on how long it takes me to write the first chapter, but I think that this first one is going slower only because I haven't found my routine yet. But I'm getting there...

My next question is how much of my midyear report can I kind of transpose into my thesis. Because really my report is a condensed outline of my thesis, and I really like the way I fit things together, so it would be great if I could take that and just expand. But I don't know how tricksy they will be with using my own work (on the same project, mind you) in terms of plagerism etc. Will have to look into that...

What I've learned from the past two days (and looking at my schedule to come), I definitely underestimated how busy I would be this semester. On paper it doesn't look so bad, a meeting here, a seminar there, lab a couple times a week, but when it all gets put together, and then other little things pop up, like having to clean the house for tomorrow's 'monthly' house inspection (this will be our second inspection since I moved in 5 months ago...) which we just found out about yesterday, for instance, all of a sudden my time is pretty much gone. I do like the pressure of such a structured, busy schedule, but I'll like it more once I have a handle on it and make it more routine (rather than something out of the ordinary and frazzled, as it feels at present).

Also, I did some more research on my back-up med school in the Caribbean. Looks good, but I'm thinking I should just get my application out now rather than waiting a month as I had originally planned, because as with all my other apps, it's rolling admissions so the sooner the better. But I do need to think about a)whether I want to apply for their special scholars program for those interested in medicine for underserved populations and b)whether I want to apply to start in January (rather than August). If I do apply for the scholar program, that would mean one year in England (instead of the Caribbean), one year in the Caribbean, and then two years in either the US/UK for rotations... Do I want to give up a year in the Caribbean to be in the UK another year? But if that means I get to do this amazing program...tricky, tricky... And starting in January is so tempting because then I can actually see this program that I'm doing now all the way through, attend my own graduation in November, and have a month or so to catch my breath. However, I need to do a little more research and find out how this would affect my application to residency programs once I finish my four years, because that's not something I'm willing to mess with just to make things easier for me now...

That being said, I cringe every time people ask me how med school applications are coming now. I know people are just trying to be supportive, and I really do appreciate that, but I'm already crunched under the evil monster that is the waiting game. For one, it's hard not knowing whether I'm going to get in, and ultimately be one step closer to my dream job. In addition, I'm a planner, and not knowing where I will be in just five months is really hard, particularly when my thesis deadline is fully dependent on those plans. Yes, I'm going to try to set my thesis for July regardless of my future plans, because it would be nice to have it done either way to be honest, but still. Not knowing is really difficult. I'm such a patient person normally, and I was totally fine up until about a week ago. Now I'm starting to get anxious, which is so pointless because there's nothing I can do about any of it at this point, so what's the use in stressing. In any case, I feel like one of these days someone is inevitably going to ask how it's all going and in response I'm just going to explode. Don't worry people, if things work out, you'll know about. If they don't...you'll know about it, if only because I may just end up staying in St Andrews forever to avoid returning to the real world...that or running off to a foreign country somewhere never to be heard from again...

Now that I've ranted away here, time to get back to work. Or take a study break. I think I need to exercise more, too much energy...

Let's watch some football

A cultural experience I've missed recently, going to the pub for an afternoon of football (soccer). When I was here a couple years ago, I definitely did this more, but for whatever reason have missed out this time around. Anyway, finally made my way to the pub this afternoon for the Celtic vs. Rangers game. I'd say the majority of people at The Rule were overly excited when Celtic won 3-0, but poor Jamie sitting next to me was a bit put off by the Rangers sad performance. Better luck next time...

Spent the past hour writing some more thesis, 5 pages in now. I imagine (hope) that writing will pick up after a bit and that it's just taking me a little time to get into it. At the moment, I'm more or less ranting about the subjectivity of psychiatric diagnosing. Fun times.

And it's now time to go play pool at the union with Kate, because it's free on Sundays and because no one can get work done on a Sunday evening anyway (or so I tell myself).

I also have been thinking about where to go for spring break at the end of next month...I have two weeks off, so I need to go somewhere, preferably at low cost, anywhere that is not St Andrews for a little while. Where should I go?

Chimney Sweeps, Tribal Bops, Arts and Crafts, and Kitchen Parties

Apologies for being so rubbish at updating here. This past week has been busy, busy, chalk full of work and fun. Last week ended on a really good note work-wise; I got loads done, and slowly but surely my thesis is beginning to be written up. As a reward for my good work, I gave myself the weekend off, which seemed like a great idea at the time, but also made Monday that much harder. And I will start lab demonstrating again this week. The first lab practical will actually be out on the beach, looking at seaweed samples and rocks and things...just hoping the rain isn't too bad while we're out there tomorrow and Thursday afternoon.

Thursday night I went to a Victorian-themed party. Mostly people I didn't know, but it was really fun. People tended to dress up as chimney sweepers, it was cute. Friday night I went out for a couple drinks at one of my favorite pubs. I made friends with one of the bartenders, who I'd met through some friends last semester but hadn't spoken to in months, he now makes fun of me because I frequent his pub so much (not really that much...once or twice a week maybe?). Then I ended up at the "Tribal Bop" at the student union, basically people dress in their dorm colors with face paint and everything, good fun. After enjoying an hour of free pool playing at the union with Kate Sunday evening, I came back to the house and joined Sarah and Lucy for arts and crafts fun--so relaxing, we decided this must be a weekly occurrence. Last night I went for some cocktails and drinks with some friends, and planning just to go to bed when I got home at 1am found a bunch of people in my kitchen with one of my housemates. They were having so much fun that I decided to stay up a bit longer, which somehow turned into 4 hours before I actually made it upstairs...I love my house. Also, my friend Emily has let me use her piano whenever I like so I've been getting back into practicing more, still not as much as I would like, but it makes me happy to get some music out again.

Much feared goat

Not a whole lot going on in the past week and a half since I last posted...The second half of the inter-semester break was not so exciting, which isn't such a bad thing. It was actually pretty relaxing, I slept in a lot, and while I got some work done, there was a significant lack of stress. That being said, only two days into the semester and I'm already feeling like I'm falling behind. After taking the speed reading postgrad seminar last week, I tried signing up for a few more seminars for the next few weeks, but keep getting put on the waitlist. How is it that only two days into the semester all these things are already overbooked? How was I supposed to know that I should have signed up for them weeks ago? It's organized so casually I really didn't think it would be such an issue. Oh well, can't really do anything about it now... And I'm already two days behind my proposed thesis-writing schedule, which isn't really a big deal, except that I feel like it's a bit early to already be behind schedule, no? And again, wouldn't be a problem because I was going to use tomorrow to catch up (totally doable), until I got a few emails from my supervisor today suggesting that I apply to present at a conference next fall for which the application deadline is Friday, along with some suggested reading that I go over before our meeting on Thursday morning. All of a sudden I'm feeling like there is so much more I'm supposed to be doing that I haven't been getting to nearly quick enough. Right, so much for starting my thesis this week...

On top of that, I'm still not getting good news from med schools, which is frustrating. And by that I mean, I got another rejection and have yet to hear anything from places I've already interviewed. I realize that's not such a bad thing, and in the worst case scenario I do have back up plans, but it's still a mood killer. No fun. And it's not made any easier by people seeming so sure that I will get in SOMEWHERE given the strength of my application. You would think, but it's one of those things that's just easier said. It is true that I just need ONE place to accept me, but it's really hard to stay positive in this process.

Chew like you have a secret

I don't know how people feel about the movie "She's the Man," but it's amazing.

And here are some more random thoughts of the day:

How quickly can dreams be dashed? I received another email from the Italian family apologizing because, as it turns out, something has come up so that they won't be able to host me this summer. Sad times. That would be my luck.

Now that my midyear report's in, I guess it's time for some serious thesis writing to begin.

I love inter-semester break, because even though most of the town empties out, you end up getting to know and spend time with people you wouldn't necessarily expect.

As Tegan and I figured out the other night, our high school is way more interesting than we ever thought while we were actually there.

Abby and her cousin are coming to stay with me in less than a week!!

Tonight I will be making stir fry for dinner.

According to my calculations...

...if I write just two pages of my thesis per day for five days a week, starting the second week of February, and excluding the two week spring break and a theoretical five days of "interview/data collection", I should be done writing by mid-May, leaving the entire month of June to edit edit edit. Now of course I realize there will most definitely be days that I do not get two pages written, and there also needs to be considered time spent teaching, going to these seminar things I've been meant to be attending (oops), and writing short journal articles; however, two pages a day is almost nothing so there will also be days that I will write much more than that. Totally doable. Italy may just be more realistic than I thought, at least in theory...

When opportunity presents itself

I'm trying really hard to contain myself, but an amazing thing just happened. I was checking through my email, and the mother of one of my old Italian students sent me a message with the subject "holiday in italy"...you see where this is going. Basically, I taught English in this little Italian city just near the Alps/Turin in northern Italy a few summers ago, where there are very few people who can speak proper English. I've been back to visit since that summer, and had joined one of my students' family for lunch awhile back. Now the oldest daughter in the family is 17, has been to England several times, and is looking to improve her English. Naturally, her mother has just invited me to come live with them for a couple weeks this summer so that Elena can practice her English. Hello, free two week summer holiday in Italy. SO TEMPTING!! ...Only one foreseeable problem: THESIS. As of right now, my plan has been to try to finish my thesis by mid-July so that I can return home in time for my hypothetical med school education to start at the beginning of August. That means I'm already only giving myself about five months to interview professionals in the field, write and edit over 100 pages, and of course write and hopefully publish a few papers on the side... All this should be doable (despite the fact that I theoretically should have eight months to do it all, not five...), but speeding it up even a little more?? Hmm... Tricky, tricky. This is not helped by the fact that I don't know if/where I'll get into medical school, and therefore don't really know when I actually need to get all this done. That's the problem with having my future all planned out, particularly a future that is such a process (ugh), I can never really plan that much ahead because I don't really know where I'll be any further than a few months down the road, and even that's a stretch...

I did, however, finally figure out what my thesis will be. I'm going to focus on depression, after all, but ADHD will still make an appearance. Using ADHD as a comparison, I will look at the ethics of using antidepressants as a sort of neuro-enhancement, in addition to its intended treatment use (which already has all sorts of ethical implications, particularly when applying treatments to children). So with that figured out, I finished the first draft of my midyear report this weekend, and am thus taking the day off from work. I figure I need at least a day of not looking at that report before I can effectively edit it. I also need another day off because I think I've sprained my ankle again, no walking all the way to the office for me... And my sinuses decided to pick another fight with me. Oh the joys of living in Scotland. Tomorrow...tomorrow I will start researching for my first paper--who is policy/legislation really protecting? children or pharmaceutical companies? Then again, maybe I should do a little research today, as tonight I am celebrating Burns Night a day early with friends, and fear tomorrow will not be so productive...

...dreaming of an Italian vacation...

Depression or ADHD?

I am still very stuck between the two topics. But luckily just realized that today is NOT Wednesday, but rather it is only Tuesday, which is strangely and perhaps unrealistically reassuring. I'll admit, I found my lunch with Russell yesterday unexpectedly extremely helpful. Finally able to catch up now that he was done with exams, we eventually ended up talking about my research, prompting me to go home and essentially write down everything that we said on the subject. It's times like these that make me think, wow I'm such a nerd; that is, when lunch with old friends becomes work, but work is actually exciting and fun (not the negative connotation that the word "work" implies). Yet no matter how much thought and effort I've put into this, I'm still feeling no greater pull toward one particular topic, which wouldn't be so much of an issue if my report outlining what I plan to do for the rest of my time here weren't due next week(!!). CONUNDRUM!

On a completely different note, has anyone else ever heard of "frost nip"? It's not frostbite, but sort of similar? Basically, Kate told me about this about a week ago, and I didn't have the slightest clue what she was talking about; it just seemed made up. Of course, a couple days later, I find that a couple of my toes have gone a little bruisey from being too cold, precisely how Kate had described frost nip... I may now be a believer, albeit still slightly skeptical.

Because getting back to work wasn't hard enough

I'm already struggling with the motivation to get up early to go to the office in this first full week back to work. Now add on the maze I need to navigate in order to get to the office this week... For whatever reason, they are needing to re-tile the floors in this BRAND NEW BUILDING (and when I say new, I mean it opened just 6 months ago!), and they thought it would be ok to do this now since classes are not in session. Good thought, except that people such as myself still use the building, and as I am a student they refuse to give proxy access to the back stairway like they do for the rest of staff. Earlier in the week this meant that I could simply go in through the physics building next door and go through the connecting bridge, which conveniently comes out on my floor anyway. However, since yesterday, they have been doing work on the stairwell that I must cross to get to the biology offices, so I had to go through Physics but then go upstairs to the floor above mine, through the medical school labs, through the medical school offices, down the back stairs, and then over to my office...I think I've just confused myself trying to explain that...

Anyway, just got out of a meeting with my supervisor, and my brain is spinning again. After worrying about not getting my ethics forms done, I'm now very happy I didn't put any time in to that because it seems as though my research may be changing... I'm still kind of doing the same thing, but the direction is changing. So far, I've really just done a broad literature review of a bunch of factors in treating/medicating children with psychiatric illness. But when it came time to really figure out how interviewing/surveying people (students, psychiatrists, other healthcare professionals, etc) would fit into what I'm doing, it started making less and less sense. To tie it all back together, I'm looking more at focusing on ADHD or depression in pediatric populations. The hard part is choosing which one, because both are so interesting and would give my project a different spin. But I can only do one, especially because they would be so different. Perhaps I'll choose whichever one is more relevant to everything I've done so far so that I don't have to throw as much out.......

I think I need a vacation. Again.

Back to Work Blues

First post of 2011..happy new year! As predicted, the remaining week and a half at home after my last post were more or less me scrambling around seeing old friends, partaking in holiday madness, and getting things together to come back to Scotland again. Luckily, despite the blizzard that hit the east coast, I still managed to get out of Boston on time last week, with only a slight delay in London. I then spent less than 24 hours in St Andrews before heading back to England. Funny how different the town feels when there aren't students around. Since half the population here is from the university, one would expect it to be completely empty; on the contrary, all the locals seem to come out of the woodwork and there were people everywhere, though none that I recognized (a nice change perhpaps?).

I hopped on a train down to Newcastle for the New Year. After Anna picked me up from the train station, I was greeted by some of her best friends from school, and we had a cozy girls night in. Jamie and Steven joined us the next day, and a group of us went out for dinner in town, and on to a party. Very enjoyable :) The boys then left back to Scotland the following afternoon, while I stayed another few days in Newcastle. Anna and I had a walk around the castle estate where she lives, enchanting! Sadly, the castle no longer stands, but its structure was used to build Anna's house, along with a few of her neighbors'. Really interesting history there. The family that owned the castle estate for generations used to host all sorts of important people, and were friends with the author of 'Alice in Wonderland,' which is said to be based on the family's daughter Alice. The family left the estate during World War I, and later the castle was converted into a girls' school. Not long after that, the head of the family decided he wanted to dismantle the castle to construct a model town, but only managed to build three houses (including Anna's) before the project was abandoned. Some of the old buildings still remain though. Anyways, such a cool place! Spent most of my time there catching up on sleep and sitting by the fire, really relaxing. Also got a chance to walk around the Metro Center, the huge shopping mall in Newcastle, though could not be tempted to buy anything. And had a fantastic bank holiday dinner with Anna's family on Monday...love Anna's grandma (who apparently is quite the heartbreaker!).

And now I am back in St Andrews, and admittedly not quite ready to get back to work....